I have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. It is an autoimmune disorder which means my body is attacking my thyroid and creating antibodies against it. I was diagnosed with it in 2011 after struggling with unexplained weight gain, dry skin, severe exhaustion, hair loss, and brittle nails for a little more than a year prior. It runs in my family, so it was always a possibility for me but I was in denial about it for a while before I actually had the blood work and saw my doctor. Since then, I have had a love-hate relationship with my thyroid and with the fact that I have to take a prescription medication to ensure my body has enough thyroid hormone to function. On good days, I do all the things I am supposed to do to support my thyroid. Selenium, Nature-throid, avoiding inflammatory foods, being grateful that my body has an organ that plays such a vital role in so many daily functions. On bad days, I hate my thyroid. I hate that my body creates antibodies to attack a part of itself. I hate that I have to avoid all the foods that I love to eat. I hate that my body is malfunctioning. It’s really a pity party, isn’t it?!
Anyway, I had a session with my Shaman a couple weeks ago and one of my intentions was to work on my thyroid. This led us to an interesting discussion about how the thyroid is shaped like a butterfly and how the butterfly is a Spirit Animal for the Throat Chakra. I found this interesting because I have always been drawn to butterflies with no real understanding of why. So, during my session, we journeyed with Butterfly and I received a very powerful message to “Speak my Truth”. This was powerful for me because I avoid conflict at all costs and oftentimes this means not saying what I need to say. Oftentimes, this means that I hold back and allow the other person to “win” in order to avoid further conflict and to avoid having someone angry with me or dislike me. I find that I end up doing this on social media AND in real life with my friends and family. But why? Why should I shrink back and not stand in my power, especially when what I have to say is just as important and valid as what the other is saying? Why should I not come to the defense of my child or my friend or a group of people when someone says something that I not only disagree with but that is also blatantly wrong or is bullying or is so much a blanket statement that it does not allow for any gray area? And the thing is, I have been this way for my whole life. I have been afraid of conflict and afraid of speaking up for fear of what others will think of me since I was little. Can you imagine holding back that much? No wonder my thyroid decided to malfunction! Talk about stopping and blocking the energy at my Throat Chakra!
And so, my homework was to write letters to those to whom I have had things to say but have not because of my fear and then stick those letters in the fire as a ritual of letting that fear go. I also made it my goal to stop being afraid of saying what I need to when I am on social media. Most of the people I interact with aren’t people I know in real life so why am I worried about what they think about me? I live by the Golden Rule in my real life and I think it is important to do that online too, so I am not saying anything nasty or calling names or anything like that. I want my online life to be filled with integrity as much as in my real life, so I think it is important to still be respectful towards others even when they are on the other side of a computer and not face to face with me. It is amazing how much freer I feel. I am no longer shying away from having hard conversations. They are still hard but the more I do it, the more confidence I feel, and the more willing I am to put my opinions out there. Speaking my truth doesn’t mean trampling all over someone else or purposely causing problems with others.
What incredible insight about my thyroid and rebalancing my Throat Chakra! I added a gorgeous picture (see below) of a Blue butterfly to my altar to remind myself to always Speak my Truth. I can’t wait to see how my energy continues to clear and what other changes begin to happen because of clearing this block!